What the Don Heck is this thing?

 The above image is one of several images that have been causing a bit of buzz around teh comics intronets over the past week or so.  For those of you that keep up with the comics news like I do, you already know that it is part of a new branding re-launch/re-boot/re-excuse-to-spend-a-lot-of-money-so-that-some-jerk-in-some-board-room-can-say-they-actually-did-something-in-the-first-quarter-of-the-year of one of the many divisions of one of the world's largest media empires.

But just what exactly is the thing?

I asked my nine year old daughter what it is.  Keep in mind, my daughter is very smart.  She said that it is the letter C wrapped in a spring and stuck inside an envelope.

My first instinct was to think that it has a bit of a rubber fetish look about it.  Like something that might be used to sell condoms or whips.  But I'll go with a C wrapped in a spring stuck in an envelope.

Now, this is the year 2012 so one image alone can not re-launch a brand.  You have to have lots of variations for every occasion and it has to be animated and do magical things on cell pad pod phones.  So, there are lots of variations on the new logo/icon.  Let's take a look at another.

I asked my daughter what she thought this one was and she said it was the letter C with some sparkly smokey stuff on it in an envelope.

Yeah.  That is exactly what it is.

But what is it supposed to be?  What brand does it represent?  What is it supposed to sell?

Let's get rid of the effects and the big black void and look at the image in its most basic form.

That's better.  Now we can see its primary elements.  Ignoring the negative space, this image is made up of three elements. 

This is the letter C.  Actually, it is less than half of a letter C.  But the human brain is an amazing thing and through the magic of eyeballs and brain interaction, the brain can fill in the missing part and almost instantly tell  you, the brain transport and feeding mechanism, that the image represents the letter C.

This is a... flap?  Or is it really?  I mean, when you see it on its own it does not really read as a flap.  Kind of looks like a leaf.  It does not look like any letter of the alphabet so I'm not sure how it is supposed to be read  as part of a brand logo/icon.  

Now this, this is nothing.  It is certainly not a letter.  It kind of looks like a boot.  Or maybe a half-assed crescent moon. 

So, between the three elements, the only thing the human eyeballs to brain interface can read is the letter C.  So, I assume the name of this media empire subdivision, probably starts with the letter C.

There are certainly not any other letters in that image.  Nothing like, oh say... the letter D.  Nope, not a damned D in there anywhere.  

But what I've shown you is not the entirety of the new branding.  It also has some text.  Let's take a look.

Oh, this new logo/icon is for our good pals at DC Comics.  Good thing they put that text under the image so that we can read what the logo/icon is totally incapable of demonstrating.

I want you to understand that at this moment my eyes are rolling back in my head so hard that my back is completely arched over the back of my chair to the point that the top of my head is resting on the floor.  It hurts.  My insurance company will probably deny the claim. 

If you need words to explain what your brand logo/icon is then your brand logo/icon has failed.  

Yes folks, this image of a C in an envelope is to be used to brand a company that may or may not be publishing comic books called DC Comics.  And everyone involved in pulling the trigger on the creation of this logo/icon probably got paid more to do it than you and I will make in the next five years.  

This is me shaking my head back and forth until I have a seizure. 

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

* DC publicity images totally stolen from the fine people at The Beat.  Don't go changin' The Beat.

p.s.  Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind.  I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.

p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.

p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.

p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.

10 insane images from Krull.

I clearly remember seeing the trailer for Krull in a movie theater when I was a little kid. I was super excited to see this movie about Space Robin Hood. Just look at the thing. It looks amazing. I don't know if I saw the movie in the theater or not but I do know that I watched it a dozen or so times on HBO and loved it enough to make my own cardboard Glaive and spend a lot of time running and jumping around pretending to be Space Robin Hood.  

That was during the long ago way backy time of 1983.  For you children out there that don't know anything, the only thing important that happened in 1983 was Return of the Jedi.  Krull came out in the summer of '83 after Return of the Jedi.  It really did not matter how good Krull was, it just could not make a dent in Jedi.  I mean, Space Robin Hood is about as good an idea as the human brain is ever going to come up with but it ain't gonna put a dent in Luke Skywalker fighting Darth Vader, Han Solo leading an army of Care Bears and  Princess Leia choking out a space slug in a metal bikini.  Sorry Krull, you never had a chance.  Hollywood has been trying to top that magic for almost thirty years and has not even come close.  

But you gotta give Krull credit.  They tried really hard.  Like soooo many movies of the 80s they tried so hard to capture the George Lucas and/or Steven Spielberg sci/fi box office magic.  But magic ain't easy and it sure ain't cheap.  They spent at least 10 million dollars more making Krull than Lucas spent making Return of the Jedi.  

Let me just say that again.  They spent at least 10 million dollars more making Krull than Lucas spent making Return of the Jedi. 

And that's when a million dollars could buy you stuff.  And if you watch Krull today,  you will see that money up on the screen.  I don't think the Krull production crew understood that the whole point of special effects is that you don't really have to build a whole dang space planet.  You can uses miniatures, and matte paintings and all other kinds of movie magic.  Nope, them Krull guys just went ahead and built some of the most amazingly ridiculous and expensive sets ever built.  Let's take a look at some of them.  Shall we?  Yes, lets! (And I do highly recommend that you "click to enlarge" cuz these suckers do look great in biggie size.)

Here we have a space princess trapped inside Steve Ditko's eyeball.  Genius.

Here we have some people on the way to see the Dread Dormammu. 

This would be one of the more conservative shots of the film.  Just Space Robin Hood and his Merry Men on a stroll through some giant trees.  If only there had been Ewoks and speeder bikes. 

Just wow.

Just say nope kids. 

My favorite Yes album cover. 

A guest appearance by the mother of the Kwisatz Haderach is always a good idea in a sci/fi movie. 

They actually launched a second sun into the sky for this shot.  Again, $10 million more than Jedi. 

No wait.  This is my favorite Yes album cover. 

They actually got a nice deal on this one from some guy named Saruman but it turned out the thing had termites.

The movie holds up pretty well today.  It's not what I'd call a good movie but it's very enjoyable to look at.  The story is super simple.  Very little plot.  Basically Space Robin Hood, Qui-Gon Jinn, Hagrid and some dude that looks like Dio go to save the princess from a Doctor Strange villain.  And as far as plots go, you don't need anything more than that.  That is Shakespeare level stuff right there.  But the execution is very clumsy.  It is very slow and feels very old.  The direction and pacing feel like something from 1953 instead of 1983.

A lot of movie execs in the 80s thought that they could just throw 10s of millions of dollars at a sci/fi idea and end up with a Lucas and/or Spielberg styled blockbuster.  And haters can crap on those "New Hollywood" era boy wonders but those guys could catch lightning in a bottle in a way no one has since.  And here is what is super crazy-  The Krull producers hired a British director that did not know crap about making a sci/fi blockbuster.  You know who directed Return of the Jedi?  Richard Marquand, who (God bless his soul) was a British director that did not know crap about making a sci/fi blockbuster.  (And by directed, I mean that George Lucas pretty much ghost directed the thing through him but still, Lucas magic folks.)  You can't buy magic folks but sometimes you can stand close enough to it to learn some tricks.

So watch Krull and pretend it came out in the 50s and you will be blown away.  Plus, it has almost the exact same James Horner score as Star Trek II.  James Horner came up with about one film score that was not terrible so I don't fault the guy for using it twice.
Oh, and it has a cyclops and flying space ponies.  Rad.

And oh number two-  you can totally watch Krull on Netflix instant play right now. See there.  I just made someone some money.  Capitalism everyone!  America F yeah!  Suck on it SOPA!

* Sources include Wikipedia and my brains.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

p.s.  Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind.  I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.

p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.

p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.

p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.

2012 No sleep. No excuses.

Happy new year.  May 2012 be your happiest, healthiest and most successful yet.

Stay tuned to file under other, Shannon Smith is Addicted to Distraction and Shannon Smith Comics over the next few weeks (and the rest of the year) for exciting new intronetings. The fate of the world probably depends on it.

Good luck,

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith 

p.s.  Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind.  I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.

p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.

p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.

p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.

Merry Christmas. See you in 2012.

Hello pals.  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays etc.  I hope you are swell.  Me?  I'm busy.  I've been busy for a while as is evident by the lack of production here at the shannonsmith.net empire of blogs.  But I hope for 2012 to be a big year.  Mentally, I'm already in 2012 and my mantra for the year will be No Sleep No Excuses.  

2012 will be file under other's fifth year anniversary.  It will be the Addicted to Distraction blog's seventh year.  And, most shockingly, it will be my tenth year self-publishing comics.  Yowza.  (I think it will be about twelve years since I made my first webcomic but I don't remember.)  So, big things are planed.  None of which do I intend to jinx by blabbing about them in this post.

For now, let me just say thanks.

Thanks for reading.

Thanks for linking.

Thanks for tweeting and re-tweeting.

Thanks for liking.

Thanks for following.

Thanks for buying.

Thanks for the reviews.

Thanks for everything.

I'll see you in 2012.  Don't be late.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

p.s.  Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind.  I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.
p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.
p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.
p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.

Is this man Cobra Commander?

I don't condone an invasion of privacy and I don't support an unwarranted search but... If someone in Switzerland had the spare time, they might want to make sure that Yves Rossy has not received any large orders of blue jump suits and hoods.

You can never be too careful.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

p.s.  Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind.  I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.
p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.
p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.
p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.

#RockingSoHard reviewed in the Dollar Bin's SPX podcast.

In the way timey back days of October 2011, Adam and Shawn of team Dollar Bin discussed the wonderment of SPX 2011 on their fantastical podcast.  I should have mentioned that here long ago but that cat box won't scoop itself.  During said podcast they said several nice things about me (Shanon Smith) and my minicomic #RockingSoHard.  If I had a podcast, I would say nice things about them as well.  You should go right now and listen to that podcast.  They also talk about plenty of things that are not me.  You know, just in case you are also into things that are not me.  I can think of a solid half dozen or so things that are not me that I enjoy.  In moderation.

Also, you should buy #RockingSoHard right now because it is great.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

p.s.  Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind.  I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.
p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.
p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.
p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.

Dissecting Animal Man and DC's NEW 52 at fuo.

Over at file under other I have posted a review of Animal Man #1 covering almost every page of the comic.  (Including the advertisements.)  I also talk a lot about umbrellas and kitties.  Hard hitting journalistic stuff I tells ya.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

My 2011 SPX report is now up at fuo.

The post you did not know you had waited all your life for.  Small.  Press.  Expo.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

S P X

I've been making comics (semi-seriously) for about nine years and I've been wanting to go to SPX (Small Press Expo) almost as long.  Hopefully this post won't jinx it but I should be there this weekend, Sept. 10 & 11 in Bethesda MD. (Medical Doctor.)  From what I hear, SPX is the finest small press expo in these United States of America. 

I personally love small press.  Large press is fine but it can be hard to carry around.  I prefer the small.  I'm not sure what an "Expo" is but I assume it involves a Ferris wheel and old ladies wearing large hats.  I don't know how they are going to fit all of that into a hotel but that's not my problem.

I should have copies of my latest minicomic #RockingSoHard so that you can hand me cash dollars and then have me hand you comics.  I'll also have the fantastical critically acclaimed trade paper back anthology Shiot Crock 16 which is without a doubt the greatest trade paper back comics anthology I have ever edited and published.  You will want to give me cash money for that as well.  I may and/or may not also bring  many of the other minicomics I have created over the years.  I also may and/or may not have other things for sale.  I may dance.  I might give a dramatic reading of Rick Perry's book Fed Up!  No one knows but God and Nostradamus. You will just have to be there to find out.  

You can find me at table space B8A. I will be standing behind an 8 1/2 by 11 inch sign that looks just like the image at the top of this post.  If you have never met me before, I look exactly like this....

I wish I had time to go through the list and do some sort of round up of all the things I'm looking forward to seeing at SPX but, I'm super busy.  (If anyone would like to come and take care of my job for me on Friday so that I can get a head start on my 8 hour drive, that would be super.)   Let's just say, since I've never been before that I am looking forward to all of it.  (I really want that Infinite Kung Fu book.)  But I'm mostly looking forward to you meeting me and giving me cash for my comic books. 

Oh, oh, I almost forgot.  I of course will also be there representing the file under other blog empire.  So, if you want stuff reviewed at file under other, the absolute best and fastest way to make that happen is to give me stuff at the show.

See you in Maryland!

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

Marvel owes all to Kirby.

When Jack Kirby creates a god like character it looks like this.

When Marvel minus Jack Kirby creates a godlike character it looks like this.

 Case dismissed.  Pay the Kirby's.

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith